confessions of a try hard loser

2002-11-25T15:15:00.000Z

2002-05-08T18:13:00.000Z

this can't be right

i am in aberdeen university, who (in their backward ways) only have netscape installed on their computers. have discovered that confessions of a try hard loser... looks all wrong viewed with netscape. why? why? why? it makes no sense, no sense at all.

i'm off to laugh at the toilet graffiti.

2002-05-08T13:04:00.000Z

like glitterqueer i am annoyed by the lack of interesting things i have to write in confessions of a try hard loser... while she can still amuse us with her britney lovin' lesbo antics, my try hard life is less than enthralling. so i have decided to pursue excitement and interesting trivia.

today i have already picked up two job application forms. the life of a high roller (for that is what i will be) is bound to be more interesting than a lazy unemployed student. my second mission is to begin the hunt for interesting trivia, which today will take the form of the most boring, funny or ironic toilet graffiti i can find. wish me well, i do it for you.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-05-04T14:00:00.000Z

it's bin a long time

i haven't written in a while, just because i had nae thing interesting to say. i finished my final coursework and sat my only exam this week so uni is properley over. no more working for a month or two (or five). the exam was boring as usual but the after exam celebrations made up for it.

15 of us headed for the union to drink pints of hooch. although it turned out only me and glitterqueer and slut were man enough for the sickly lemon drink. straight away we made bets on how many of us would be left by 5 o'clock, there are only about 20 people on my course and most of them find the idea of mixing with their classmates alien. actually that is often a good thing.

by the time we made it to the aberdeen union (the best in scotland) we were down to me plus four, with queen of fun making five. half way through a twelve hour drinking session i decided sustenance was required and munched on a pricy greek salad. i didn't count on seeing it in reverse at the end of the night. £2.95 i'll never see again.

the rest of the evening is a kind of blur. i remember drinking some kind of pink drink, then getting a shag band to match. also emmerdale fan #1 tweaking my nipple a little bit to hard for my liking after i beat her in a pint drink off. and glitterqueer confessing her love for me and my leaning techniques. oh, and dancing to flick, and drinking glasses of what i thought was water (now i think about it the small glass, sweet taste and inebriating effect points towards it being some random vodka and lemonades).

so now i am suposed to be looking for a job but i think i may just wander around town and listen to my brand new sunshine minidisc (michael jackson, soul 2 soul etc) recorded on my brand new minidisc player (now i really have no money).

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-29T13:25:00.000Z

confessions of a try hard loser... in french! some french person has been reading me. hurrah!

2002-04-29T11:30:00.000Z

oh, fuck. i have no money. looks like i ain't going to no australia this summer. oh, fuck.

2002-04-29T11:27:00.000Z

yesterday i tried to do coursework, i really did. it is even quite interesting, all about e-books. all i managed was a list of my top procrastination techniques.

sorted random coins into 3 full jars, 1ps, 2ps and 5ps & 10ps.

learned all the lyrics on death to the pixies... slicing up eyeballs.

swapped the shoelaces on all my 4 pairs of trainers.

read adrian mole: the wilderness years cover to cover. a real try hard loser.

watched the natural world on bbc2. capybaras?

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-26T13:58:00.000Z

good things come to those who plagiarise

things are looking a little better. 60% for specialist publishing, although my ploy of referenecing the lecturer's journal articles backfired when i spelled pederson, instead of pedersen. so one less resit to worry about and one step closer to 2 1/2 months in australia.

also, a bunny shagging mick hucknall.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-26T12:54:00.000Z

spinning dreams with angel wings, torn blue jeans and a foolish grin

for your convenience i have added a new section to confessions of a try hard loser.... me, myself and i is just a list all about me, more will be added when i can be bothered. no time to write any more today, i am going to pick up marks for coursework, then make arrangements for my sunny summer.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-24T09:51:00.000Z

takes a teen age riot to get me out of bed

i made it to uni for 9 today. shouldn't have bothered. in fact i am now skiving the second half of the 2 hour lecture cos' it's boring. i'm just not a morning person, people should realise this. yesterday i rose at around 10.30 as usual. chilled out for a bit, made some orange juice, toast, cereal, coffee, watched a bit of tv and ate my breakfast in the sun. i had planned to be in for my 2 o'clock lecture, but then remembered it started at 1. jumped on a bus, but the learner bus driver made sure i missed the lecture.

anyhow, my life now has purpose (studying for a degree ought to be enough?), plans have been made and, subject to visas and air fares, me and meiks will be living the sunny life in sydney this summer - hurrah. keep your fingers crossed, at least i will have interesting things to write in my weblog.

never thought i had an addictive personality - is that the right term medical browsers? - but i can't stop eating sesame sticks. smoking or drinking never got me like this, i can happily take them or leave them. the holland and barrett assistants now speak to me as i roll up for my daily two bag dose, i have begun alternating between the two branches, don't want them thinking i have some kind of problem. at least 65p for a bag of sticks will cost me less than a habit for brown, but still it can't be healthy, can it?

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-22T13:08:00.000Z

reinforce your literal ass - hit it on the first or second pass

today is a public holiday so uni is closed. slightly worried by coursework due next tuesday and an exam next thursday, neither of which i am prepared for. also the lack of free net access, so i am sitting in a chain coffee shop masquerading as an internet cafe feeling under much pressure to write my blog before the time used meter reaches 1/2 an hour. in fact i have nothing in particular to say except that i have just bought the new idlewild single and it makes me want to fall in love over and over, it's that good.

yesterday. nothing like a sunday in the suburbs to demonstrate the futility of life. what is the point of living in the suburbs? but also makes me realise even more the need to get away from this backward city, australia has been raised as a possible summer destination, let's hope plans are hatched soon.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-20T13:52:00.000Z

seeing other people

we ended up at the priory of course, but this time there was no dancing. we had planned to go out to celebrate nice guy bob's last day in aberdeen before he heads back to cambridge, but as is his way nice guy bob made up some excuse and left us high and dry. me and meiks hot footed round to girly girl e's flat, the one she has lived in for a year and never invited us to. the journey was worth it though, the flat all carpeted hallways and big huge windows, the flatmates all blonde hair and alluring buckie accents (?!).

somewhere along the line i must have decided to cut loose for the evening, recounting my drinks today i can remember one can of miller (thanks meiks), four bottles of sol (no lime), two glasses of water (always sensible), one bacardi breezer (lime), three bacardi breezers (orange) and a few mouthfuls of an unidentifiable hybrid (arrogance inspired). consequently i was a little drunk, for the first time in about two months.

after waving goodbye to the blonde flatmates me, meiks and girly e headed townward. estaminet was the first siding in our long and winding road and here we spotted a not unattractive someone we once shared a school with.

regardless of whether i like or liked them i still find joy in spotting randoms i almost recognise. it's the point where eyes meet, and are fixed for a moment, but both parties know that a nod will suffice for communication. and you might look back later on just to see who their friends are, or if they are laughing, or whatever but you never spoke in the past so it's not going to happen now. the thing is i like it, you don't know this random but you can share without talking, even in a crowded pub or club.

the exception is when you are removed from your natural environment. if i spotted someone i recognised when i was in london i would've been compelled to say hello, make small talk and ruin the experience. it doesn't matter if there is affection, the point is the alien environment and a face from home. i don't know if the love of random acquaintance sightings is peculiar to me, glitter queer did her best to hide from smelly boy in the british museum. i would have been straight over.

back to last night. we crossed the street to aberdeen union and bounded upstairs to sivell's. bacardi breezers and games of arrogance ensued. suitably refreshed we headed for the priory, but wary of the bouncers we q'd rather than use our secret password. as usual the club was too busy and the music boring, but we made the best of it. the evening was cut short by a sighting of girly e's ex. we crossed the street to little belmont hut and shared a cardboard pizza. taxi'd home and went to sleep

must go now, have big plans for the rest of the day. cycle eight miles home, mostly up hill and into wind. cut my scruffy hair. get to know sonic youth. watch tv.

goodbye readers, and take care

2002-04-19T13:44:00.000Z

you held the world in your arms tonight

i have just realised i haven't eaten any meat, apart from fish, for about a month. i became a vegetarian subconsciously and it has only just caught up with me. i think i'll run with it for a while, beats eating minced up animal shit*

rewarded my earlier coursework efforts with a spot of late night shopping. boycotted one-up on account of their £7.99 policy for sonic youth albums and headed for fopp. despite the tempting easter sale i escaped only £15 to the bad with evol and read music speak spanish my new reasons for dancing. read music in particular is a worthy purchase, kind of weezer like but less entrenched in slackerdom.

speaking of music, heard idlewild doing their new single live on the radio this morning, that song just gets better every time i hear it. roddy woomble seems like a nice man as well, worthy of a picture at least.

read in the face that la is the new place to be in the states, got me thinking about the summer again, although i am still no further forward about where i will be. bank balance seems to be quite high at the moment, and with my discovery of amazon.co.uk's marketplace should be increasing in weeks to come. nice guy bob is off to thailand and assorted south-east asia countries. lml is going to vancouver for eight weeks. girly girl e is going to grenoble for a year in september so is staying in aberdeen for the summer. the amazing oweno will be returning from a year in leuven soon but will likely be away again just as quickly. and i am still none the wiser as to what i should do. any advice greatly appreciated.

goodbye readers, and take care

*try hard loser in no way suggests that any fast food restaurant, burger king or mcdonald's for example, uses anything less than 100% prime beef in their wholesome products.

2002-04-18T16:08:00.000Z

i finally managed the customary post-coursework twelve-hour sleep last night. tuesday night was of course nice guy bob's birthday. in retrospect it may have been better postponed to wednesday, who goes out on a tuesday? we started at nice guy bob's house with me, bob and meiks, plus assorted girly girls and dyce boys. sticking to my low alcohol policy i sipped one can of beer for a good two hours, course all you get at bob's is heineken so the challenge was not too great.

a white knuckle ride into town in jo's clio - in pursuit of graeme's micra, i think those two have some issues to be sorted out - later and we found ourselves in the wodka bar, or is called siberia now? anyway twas much fun, especially the now regular game of arrogance.

of course we ended up at the priory. no need for our secret password as the q was somewhat absent. don't know what it is about the place but we just can't keep away. there is a trend in aberdeen, popularised at amadeus i think, for the dj to play 'i'm gonna be (500 miles)' by the procalimers. the dance floor then forms group circles and pogos with arms round each other’s shoulders. now the proclaimers are all well and good in their place - getting a pop song about the highland clearances into the charts is a mighty achievement - but this just annoys me. on a dance floor i like to dance, not get trampled on.

that song reached my tired ears again last night at the football. my first scotland match was an experience at least, and ironically the first one in a number of years i have not been under the influence whilst watching. sitting at the top of the richard donald stand gave a perfect view of aberdeen, and listening to 20,000 people sing flower of scotland while looking out over the city was amazing. of course the nigerians spoiled it by beating us but we were just happy to score. mind you they didn't have to rub it in by doing back flips after the goals. so i made my way home, stopping at the chipper for some sustenance, and appreciating friends with cars.

after paying my credit card and phone bills i find my loan is still present and correct so i think a further trip to one-up may be in order. tuesday's expedition yielded daydream nation and tomorrow never comes. i think daydream nation is considered sonic youth's best, who am i to disagree. tomorrow never comes is definitely something new 'driven by urgent, tightly-controlled dmx beats and swathed in massive layers of caustic guitar feedback, xinlisupreme come on like my bloody valentine meets early jesus & mary chain meets merzbow - yet impacting and buckling together to form something new and unique' is how the record company puts it.

did a spot of magazine buying yesterday, the face and kerrang. the free cd on kerrang is worth at least the price of the mag alone, a compilation of the hives favourite punk and garage rock, the kids will love it. the face has three different covers this month, all featuring eminem, apparently he has a new single or something. i don't know, i never really got eminem, isn't he just some stupid white trash boy doing his best to shock and disgust. beats me why all these pretentious folk hold him up as some kind of poet and voice of a generation, eminem's just happy if his lyrics rhyme. still i guess that's what they said about iggy pop and he certainly us all there was more to him than plastic trousers and a fuck you haircut.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-16T13:52:00.000Z

everything is good again

so after a solid 10 hours in uni yesterday and still 2000 words to write i was up at half past seven this morning. but by the time i had a shower, made fresh orange juice, watched futurama, danced to my favourite destiny's child bootleg and got two buses it was 10 o'clock, so only three hours to get the words out. i cited the last reference and put the printer to work just as the clock struck one, ok so my report is less than good but that never stopped me before.

i spent an hour in a lecture this afternoon but made a quick exit when groupwork was mentioned. i have more important things to worry about, getting some sleep before nice guy bob's 21st tonight and which cds i will buy on the way home with my lovely loan. i'm think i could do with some sonic youth and maybe a bit of blonde redhead (as recommended by lml), oh and xinlisupreme, have to get that.

if you haven't already (and lets face it all my traffic comes from her), check out glitter queer's blog, full of lovely pictures and animations.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-15T19:31:00.000Z

so once again i have failed to blog for a whole weekend. i would love to be able to say it was because i was having so much fun - of course this is partly true - but the real reason is that even looking at a computer reminds me of my two courseworks due tuesday (tommorow!). anyway i have now finished one and am a good way through the other so after much reminding from glitter queer and sparkle cat i can now divulge my weekends activities.

a suprise text from the lovely miss lottie, all the way from glasgow, made certain i would be out on friday and saturday. why is it all the best ones live so far away, first dana from cincinatti teased me for a week in the summer, then the doe eyed jane reveals she lives in grenoble (where is grenoble?) on the first of the year, now lml reappears to torment me. so our first port of call was key west in westhill, you would know it as a wine bar, and it was here i bumoped into at least twenty people i had done my best to avoid since leaving safeway in january.

my troubles were forgotten when nice guy bob and meiks joined me, lml and girly girl e. they had started early and, although it was only ten o'clock, nice guy bob was soon back out the door to throw up. we continued inside and picked up nice guy bob on the way to the bus stop two hours later, by this time his vomiting was all done so we jumped in a taxi and headed downtown. of course we headed straight to the priory and nervously tried our secret password. sure it would fail, as by now we had told all our friends the magical phrase, we mumbled something about a northsouth guestlist and could we come in. once again the boncers stood aside. we were almost there only for nice guy bob to be pulled up and told to go and get sober. honestly you wouldn't know he's almost a cambridge graduate.

so we repaired to revolution only for nice guy bob to be thrown out for chucking lumps in the toilets. this time our luck was in though and we made it in to the priory. as usual the music was bad, the floor too busy and the number of old people alarming but the beautiful women on my arm made up for it.

on saturday i was back for more, meeting lml, little jo and the dyce boys in triple kirks. the dj kept us amused with a mix of 60s soul belters and eighties cheese, as well as the ubiquitous rapper's delight, honestly it's company policy to play rapper's delight at least twice a night. spurred on by tennents and cider we followed lml to o'neils for more dancing, hugging and kissing. little jo made us laugh with her jokes at the expense of graeme's manhood, as did kev with his drunken bam antics. i am afraid by this time i had given in, lml's bad influence ensuring i made it through five pints over the weekend.

by sunday i was in no fit state to think about coursework, either that or i couldn't be bothered. anyway when the options were discussing the challenges university presses face in the 21st century and lying on my bed listening to beth orton the was only ever going to be one winner. oh and i found my sigur ros cd.

today has been a fruitful one, at least for glitter queer who has done all manner of things to her blog. while trying to forget i still had 2000 words to write i came across a new aberdeen blog everybody needs a shady lane, the author seems to share my feelings on bams, but come to think of it who doesn't. she does confess she has 'had the pleasure of kai on a few occasions' so you may want to read with caution. anyway

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-12T15:10:00.000Z

so i remember kai saying emo kids would love confessions of a try hard loser. i didn't really know what emo was, but i bought stay what you are by saves the day yesterday. apparently these kids are kind of emo like and i have to say i love it. barely scraping 30 minutes, but all the better for it, stay what you are is full of wholesome riffs, melancholy lyrics and yearning vocals, backed with some straight as you like drumming, but not in a stadium punk kind of way.

i have been doing some research today, when i should have been dong some actual research for coursework of course. it seems emo involves crying and much beating of chests, as well as a strict dress code. i don't really look good in normal glasses so i'm not sure about the thick rimmed ones worn by emo types. the thing is i don't really dress according to my musical tastes. i find i get bored listening to one style for as much as a week, so, short of having an outfit for every cd, i think solution is to leave the my penchant for roots reggae and synth-pop at the fitting room door.

amazingly it seems my minimal attempts at finishing this coursework have put me in front of both glitterqueer and trashwhore who have barely started. get to work people. sparklecat on the other hand seems to be more concerned with writing newspaper articles, nice work.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-11T16:30:00.000Z

i am bored

do i care about the history of university presses. not likely. i have never been as bored as i am right now. i have 2500 words to write for tuesday on the history of said instruments of torture. not likely. i have 679 and nothing left to say. what am i supposed to do when all my eager classmates have checked out all the books.

anyway, alpine bikes have finally deigned to service my bike so i cycled in today for the first time in a while, i really don't know why anybody would rather travel on a bus with bams, babys and old folk. from now on i'm cycling, i might even shave my legs for aerodynamics. of course if it's raining i'll be back on the bus.

so if anyone knows anything about the history of university presses and the challenges they face in the 21st century please let me know.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-10T12:18:00.000Z

i have just noticed that cannongate have published a new edition of stone junction. i cannot recommend this book enough. i started reading it on a ferry from newcastle to bergen [norway] and stayed up all night til i had finnished it. honestly you won't want it to end. if you buy from cannongate you get a big discount too.

2002-04-10T09:31:00.000Z

i love you

felt a bit sorry after yesterday's room 101 hate list. i wanted my weblog to be positive, full of happy text. it was probably just the two courseworks due on tuesday that i have barely started. so here are some of the things i love the most.

summer mornings waking up in the sunshine, breakfasting on the back step, listening to the radio in the garden.

adidas trainers three stripes or not at all. currently feeling samoa and coffee tobacco.

people who smile at me girls are best but i'm not fussy.

orange juice freshly squeezed by me. pure orange with the bits left in.

my bloody valentine listening to mbv makes me feel like i'm going up to heaven. see also mogwai.

paris trance just a beautiful book.

dancing mostly just in my bedroom or living room but often in clubs as well. fav song for cheesy club dancing is s club 7 don't stop movin'. fav song for dancing at home is anything by the pixies.

hugging beats kissing any day of the week.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-09T16:10:00.000Z

i hate you

watched room 101 last night. jessica stevenson of spaced and the royle family was on. so here are my room 101 items.

jamie oliver just leave me alone jamie oliver. you fat tongued nob. stop invading my personal space with your fat tongued mockney antics. your band is shite and your wife is a red faced hound. fuck off.

number two buses no one wants to go on a number two bus, everyone wants the number one. every time, two number two buses go past before a number one crawls up, laden with passengers. who wants to go to auchinyell anyway. and bus drivers, why do you always stop and wait for 5 minutes at the art school, i know you just wait for me to get off and walk before starting again. sort it out.

fast food why oh why. people i don't understand, why do you want to eat greasy, nasty, horrible, overpriced food out of cardboard boxes. i'll let you into a secret. hamburgers are not made from meat they are made from ears, arseholes and shit. not good.

bams [bampots] really, just stop it. get rid of your orange tracksuits. stop hanging around outside the courts. cut your fringe the same length as the rest of your hair. stop listening to oasis and hard house. stop giving us students a bad name by just turning up at college to get your loan cheque. stop getting pissed and fucked up on drugs and stabbing and stealing from each other. just stop it.

that's it. i love everything else.

goodbye readers, and take care.
XXX

2002-04-08T14:06:00.000Z

something wonderful has happened

so another weekend, another trip to the priory. we started early, me, girly girl e and nice guy bob hot footed round to meiks' for six, joining jamie the shagger and maurice for a bbq. of course by this time the precious sun had vamoosed, leaving us with a barbie leaking gas and a garden full of shade. we repaired to the warmth of a kingswells living room and amused ourselves with drinking games. i remained true to myself and through skilful gamesmanship managed to stick to my one drink limit.

later, finding ourselves in the hog's head, and in the company of some unsophisticated northfield bams, the priory became our reason for dancing. we rounded the corner and entered aberdeen's favoured drinking street. our hearts sank as we were confronted with a q winding down said belmont st., past black & lizar's and the belmont cinema and rapidly approaching triple kirks.

up steps nice guy bob, armed with the confidence of a cambridge graduate and a cheeky piece of knowledge garnered at the bank of scotland cash machine a mere week ago. facing up to the bouncers with pride in his heart and level headedness on his shoulders he lets fly

we're on the northsound guestlist

unblinkning, the bouncers stand aside. we stride through, waving to the open mouthed - and by this time hundreds strong q - and take our places on the dancefloor. for the rest of the night we were heroes, in our own minds at least. we frugged to s club and alcatraz, held our heads high passing old acquaintances and oozed coolio vibes. of course it says a lot about aberdeen that we only had to say we were on the guestlist, they didn't even check it. bet you all wish you lived here now, if only for the dimly lit bouncers.

goodbye readers and take care.

2002-04-05T15:47:00.000Z

lets do it for the fans

ain't it cool how people use different slang words for the same thing. was just browsing the dictionary of slang and was amazed at all the unusual words. those of you lucky enough to live outwith aberdeen can look up bam. it made me think of my favourite underused slang words.

shite has to be top of the list, brought to my attention last summer by the lovely dana in prague. maybe it was just the kentucky accent and hippy chique, but ever since then i have made a point of bestowing good things with shite. as in 'my new polo shirt is the shite', or 'SWPT's sparkly cat blog is the shite'. try these other slangs[!?] do it for the fans

coolio - cool but cooler

borg - dances like a funky borg [accompanied by much synth-pop]

hot christ - same effect as 'jesus h christ' but not as nauseating

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-04T18:36:00.000Z

i have to go now, i can feel it coming on

i think my hay fever has started already. it's only just april, can't the hay leave me alone for a while. still, i suppose summer is almost here. makes you think of all the lovely things you can do in the sun. we all know the best thing to do in the summer is enjoy a lazy afternoon sipping bottled beer, laughing with friends. it makes me wonder if i should start drinking again, or even go somewhere the sun does shine. anyway, gives me something to think about. at least i have some options. four months of empty is enough to make me sing and dance on the bus home, as i'm sure it would be for you.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-04T16:23:00.000Z

i love margot

went to see the royal tenenbaums last night. i think it is the best film i have seen in a long time. tragic and comic at the same time, a tragi-comedy if you like. i was inspired by ritchie's tennis star get up and bought a tennis style polo shirt from the attic today. almost followed chas into an addidas tracksuit, streethreds have some new orange ones with flared legs. but if you wear an orange tracksuit in aberdeen you are a bam, and bams aren't allowed into the union. they were £125 anyway. so i am just making do with a dapper two-tone blue polo shirt. special mention for gwyneth [margot] with her big mascaraed eyes. see it people, it's good.

got a nice package in the post this morning, the best bootlegs in the world ever. a compilation of all your favourite bootlegs, with magnificent romeo [basement jaxx's romeo plus the clash's magnificent seven], a stroke of genius [the strokes' hard to explain plus christine aguilera's genie in a bottle], one minute lovecat [missy elliot's one minute man plus the cure's lovecats] and country hill [nelly's country grammar plus the theme from grange hill]. cue much dancing around living room tonite. you can buy it from rough trade if you want. if you like that sort of thing. i know i do.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-03T13:18:00.000Z

one from the leftside

i watched malcolm in the middle last night. it was all about a traffic jam. in a clever spoof of the egg eating wager in cool hand luke francis bets he can eat 100 marshmallow ducks. malcolm meets a girl who shocks him by lying to the police and pushing him down a hill, of course he falls in love, only to find out she lives in canada. isn't life cruel. another excellent example of knowing american film and tv.

so today is my last day of uni for a week and a half. i have two essays due on the 15th so i ought to get to work on them. i expect i will get one finished by next friday and do the other the night before. consequently i have some time to roam. if alpine bikes ever get round to servicing my bike i will explore the countryside, the wind in my hair. of course it will probably be raining in which case i will stay at home and watch bad eighties movies. i watched war games on monday when i should have been preparing for my presentation. i just couldn't help it. matthew broderick was so likeable. i think ally sheedy is my perfect woman, if this were 1983 of course.

i have just started re-reading bright young things by scarlett thomas. i really recommend this book. scarlett has been compared to coupland and murakami, and was a teenage tearaway.

by the way where is my sigur ros cd, i can't find it anywhere. :-(

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-02T15:14:00.000Z

it's been a long time

so i haven't posted since thursday. i expect you've been wondering where i've been. i would love to be able to tell you i skiddadled for a lost weekend in reykjavik. the truth is less than pleasing.

friday night arrived and i was summoned by nice guy bob, fresh from cambridge. meeting up with school friends meiks, girly girl e and girly girl j we hit the town, if aberdeen qualifies. first stop was triple kirks. for those of you unfamiliar with this belmont street stalwart, imagine a dingy basement with overpowering sixties pop music, air so heavy with smoke breathing is a task and a half, and much old slappers. sticking to my recent resolution i started and finished my drinking for the evening with a pint of heavenly tennets.

we were joined by a notorious nob, who shall remain nameless, who bored us with tales of his new car and rich parents. b, j, e and myself managed to escape, only to stumble into rsvp across the way. confronted by what appeared to be a gangster theme party we bought drinks and sat in the corner. me with water of course. the time passed quickly and the girly girls made their excuses at 12.15 and caught a late bus home. out for the night b and i rendezvoused with m and headed down belmont street.

we decided to chance our luck at the priory. normally we queue for half an hour an are then turned away as m has a face which just screams pissed. we were disheartened to see the bouncer on duty was one we had encountered in the past. on that occassion m had been refused entry for looking pissed. noting the bouncer's id number he slurred '156, what a coincidence that's the exact number of times i've had your ma'. the immature fool. miraculously we entered unquestioned. by this time it was 1am so we hit the dance floor.

now i know aberdeen is not famed for it's beautiful women, but i am sure the last time i visited the priory there was more than enough eye candy to go round. maybe something to do with my new found soberness. anyway the place was packed with $2 bams and miwlf. on the dance floor a disturbing frequency of people dancing only with their arms led to my sharp exit. i relocated to the balcony on the upper floor and sipped water. the simple art of watching people, truly enjoyable especially when the subjects don't know they are under surveillance.

a half hour later i returned to the dance floor but would have had more fun cutting up some rug in my living room to a suitable mix cd. so that was that. a walk up union street laughing at all the drunk bams. my first taste of walker's british crisp flavours, tomato sauce of course. i dreamt of dancing to princess superstar and the strokes in popstarz, glitterqueer on my arm of course.

saturday and sunday i didn't leave the house. my various family members, five in total, have all disappeared on holiday so the only people i talked to over the weekend were my cat, not technically a person, and the man from alpine bikes, although that was on the phone. of which, why does it cost £35 to service a bike. daylight robbery.

cobbled together a presentation yesterday and stumbled it out in front of lecturers today. i have realised that most of the things i do at uni are pointless. once i get a job, if i get a job that is, i won't be using most of the things i have learned. so i am going to takes these essays and reports less seriously from now on. i admit they weren't top of my to do list to begin with but i feel i need to take it easy, lean back and just enjoy the melodies. try it some time, i'm sure you'll like it.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-04-02T12:55:00.000Z

quote of the day, fourth in an occassional series

i used to sit in my room for hours and listen to abba songs. but since i've met you and moved to sydney, I haven't listened to one abba song. that's because my life is as good as an abba song

2002-03-29T15:37:00.000Z

2002-03-28T17:13:00.000Z

song of the day, third in an occasional series

words like violence
break the silence
come crashing in
into my little world

painful to me
pierce right through me
can't you understand
oh my little girl

all i ever wanted
all i ever needed
is here in my arms
words are very unnecessary
they can only do harm

enjoy the silence

2002-03-28T16:36:00.000Z

it'll end in tears

so paul catamaran has left s club 7. it was only a matter of time really. during the last few months his weight has ballooned, some reports claiming he has reached 15st. paul is too fat, he stands at the back while the others dance. personally i wouyld have preferred paul to stay and bradley to leave, and their have been mixed reactions from the fans.

if the band does overcome the hurdle of being s club 7 with only six members, and the loss of paul catamaran, it will be yet another triumph in their short history. they have already overcome

hannah's lack of tits

jo's 35th birthday

bradley receiving award for being an annoying cunt two years running

jon's blatant gayness

anyway, onto more positve news. last night i set out for an evening of grit and determination. scotland against france, and i have given up alcohol. we headed for the northern bar on george street but entered and exited in a matter of minutes due to the high volume of bams and the small big screen. anxious that we would miss the kick off and first sight of scotland's new attacking style we piled into the first pub we could find, the mither tap on john street. a middle-aged man's pub but it would do under the circumstances.

surveying the teams i realised this was going to be harder than i had first thought. three of the world's greatest strikers, henry, trezeguet and wiltord lining up against christian dailly and gary caldwell. we were in for a humping and i was going to need a drink.

against all odds i managed to make one pint last for ninety minutes. the least i have ever drunk in a pub and i have to say i feel much better for it. the game was terrible from our point of view. i encourage everyone to spare a thought for gary holt, brought on at half time and substituted thirty minutes later, he's got to be gutted. berti vogts must wish he'd stayed in kuwait, at least the weather was nice.

so humiliation for scotland but a personal triumph for me, four hours in a pub and only two units of alcohol consumed.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-28T16:26:00.000Z

quote of the day, third in an occassional series

do you know what happened to the romans? the last six roman emperors were fags... you know what happened to the popes? it's all right that popes were laying the nuns.

2002-03-27T12:45:00.000Z

quote of the day, second in an occassional series

bins tend to attract minks so there is good scope for a shag.

2002-03-27T12:31:00.000Z

what does it all mean?

on christmas eve i met a few friends in a local pub. we were alarmed to see that 90% of those in our year at school were also present. i left school three years ago yet most of the people i remember are still drinking in the same pub with the same people. i know that i was there as well, but don't any of these people want to get out and see the world?

i may not be the most cultured of people but i know a bit about books and music, politics and current affairs. i have done some travelling and will be doing some more soon. i'm not being patronising, but can living in the suburbs satisfy people, getting pissed and watching tv. i know it doesn't satisfy me.

so, my point is people should go places and explore. just pick somewhere and go there. i was inspired when i saw a documentary on japan. a twenty-something office worker was hiding her relationship because her boyfriend worked in the same building. they were so afraid of being seen they couldn't even hold hands on the train.

the office worker took a holiday for the first time in three years to the south pacific. she could only stay for three days before returning to work. the crew filmed her gazing out across a beach at the bodies laughing and playing in the warm pacific waters. a voice off camera asked why she didn't join them. with a tear in her eye she replied 'i am too old, five years ago i would, but today i am too old.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-26T17:24:00.000Z

it was only a matter of time

i am now a pop executive, a mover and a shaker. after finishing my report with literally two minutes to spare, i decided to have a break and join popex. i have a finely tuned portfolio of pop shares. it was buy buy buy as i invested in 51 britney shares, 30 elbow shares, 119 emma bunton shares, 80 missy elliot shares, 70 natalie imbruglia shares, 100 gay will young shares, 100 sugababes shares and 1 b*witched share. now i wait as the market decides my fate. join me here.

hopefully i will perform better than my fame game team entered with glitterqueer. footballers' wives suck are being let down by the underperforming darius and kelly brook, guess which one's getting dumped. but watch the charts for we will be back.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-25T18:13:00.000Z

still no closer to getting this report done. have just had to move to a new computer lab because some nob was listening to toploader on his £5 headhones and i could hear every word. speed typing yet to materialise.

2002-03-25T13:25:00.000Z

so i failed

as usual i had good intentions and as usual i failed. i did no work on my report yesterday, i watched tv all day instead. i didn't even go out on saturday night so i can't pretend i was recovering. anyway i have given up drinking so i wouldn't need to recover. instead i watched two films, ratcatcher and pi. ratcatcher was good in an understated melancholy way but i think the soundtrack could have been improved. i kept on wishing mogwai's stanley kubrick ep was playing in the background, but it wasn't. actually i wish the stanley kubrick ep was playing in the background all the time, perhaps just in my head, but all the time.

pi was quite disturbing, something to do with maths and judaism but i didn't really understand.

yesterday i watched titanic among other things. i had seen it before but never appreciated quite how orange kate winslet's hair was, also didn't notice that vince from queer as folk was playing a random crew member. why doesn't leonardo just get on the piece of wood with kate? then he wouldn't have died. makes sense, no?

today i will have to finish my report. i am wearing my silas leopard t-shirt. hopefully i will recieve special type fast powers in some bizarre echo of that eighties kid's tv programme where a boy can run fast whenever he wears his tiger t-shirt. i expect not.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-23T14:38:00.000Z

apostrophes make the world go round

2002-03-23T14:02:00.000Z

the final frontier

after yesterday's condemnation of all stimulants i have decided to tackle the greatest temptress of them all, chocolate. i think replacing chocolate with mangoes and bananas is the only way i will be able to get through the rest of this semester with my chances of making fourth year intact. for the last three days i have been tackling my placement report with limited success. i currently have around 1200 of the necessary 2500 words. on average i manage to concentrate for two out of every four hours, the rest of the time my mind wanders, or i eat chocolate.

i think i eat about two or three bars of chocolate a day. if i am to have the energy and concentration to fininsh my report by tuesday and then write a presentation for the following week i need to start some clean living. so on my way home today i will visit holland and barrett and pick up some vitamins and healthy foods. i will not go out for the rest of the weekend. tomorrow i will finish my report and on wednesday i will start my presentation.

the only thing that keeps me going is the prospect a four-month break in summer. now that kate moss is apparently unavailable i ought to alter my focus, so i will go to berlin and munich and meet chicks on speed, hopefully avoiding murderous satanists.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-22T14:42:00.000Z

song of the day, second in an occasional series

if my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
and my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
would you hear my voice come through the music
would you hold it near as it were your own?

it's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
perhaps they're better left unsung
i don't know, don't really care
let there be songs to fill the air

ripple in still water
when there is no pebble tossed
nor wind to blow

reach out your hand if your cup be empty
if your cup is full may it be again
let it be known there is a fountain
that was not made by the hands of men

there is a road, no simple highway
between the dawn and the dark of night
and if you go no one may follow
that path is for your steps alone

you who choose to lead must follow
but if you fall you fall alone
if you should stand then who's to guide you?
if I knew the way I would take you home

2002-03-22T14:14:00.000Z

i wish i was a little bit smaller

this morning i bought a new compilations called futurism and it's been in my ears ever since. it's some kind of retro electro synth pop revival thing, something to do with the eighties. it made me think, in the eighties i wasn't listening to trendy compilations, i was zero to eight years old. i used to run everywhere, smile, dance and sing in public. now we are older and have to grow up. but nobody cares if a kid expresses themselves in public, why are we any different. after yesterday's experiment in dancing in public i have decided to extend to complete uninhibited behaviour. if i feel like running somewhere i will. if i want to sing a song on the bus i will, albeit quietly.

i have decided to eschew all artificial stimulants, for the time being at least. i gave up caffeine a few months ago, and will now extend to alcohol and all other indulgent substances. i just thought that since i have been drinking for about five years without much of a break this would be as good a time as any.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-21T14:39:00.000Z

i could have danced all night

why are people so repressed about dancing in public? last night i returned from uni and began to spin the excellent 2 many dj's comp in my living room. as soon as the reggaefied version of independent women pt.1 emerged from the speakers i was up and dancing, funky like a penguin. curtains drawn back and lights ablaze, my living room was a beacon of dancing and fun in burbland. i continued my dancing for the remainder of the comp, ignoring my sister who had arrived to watch eastenders.

after i felt refreshed and hungry, so quickly prepared beans on toast with extra brown sauce and cheese. it always amazes me that the best meals are those which you can prepare in the tv ad breaks.

this morning i continued my dancing in the street experiment, cutting up some rug at the bus stop to eurotrashgirl on repeat. dancing in public is good, you should try it some time.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-19T16:03:00.000Z

song of the day, first in an occasional series

take me out tonight
where there's music and there's people
who are young and alive
driving in your car
i never never want to go home
because i haven't got one
anymore

take me out tonight
because i want to see people
and i want to see lights
driving in your car
oh please don't drop me home
because it's not my home, it's their
home, and i'm welcome no more

and if a double-decker bus
crashes into us
to die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die
and if a ten ton truck
kills the both of us
to die by your side
the pleasure and the privilege is mine

take me out tonight
oh take me anywhere, i don't care
and in the darkened underpass
i thought oh God, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask)

take me out tonight
take me anywhere, i don't care
just driving in your car
i never never want to go home
because i haven't got one
i haven't got one

2002-03-18T16:40:00.000Z

it's sunny today

as i was walking down springfield road towards uni today i was surprised by the number of learner drivers passing by. i was reminded of my own learner days when i would crawl round suburban cul-de-sacs, stalling at every junction, and ignoring my lecherous driving instructor.

strolling in the sunshine i began to reminisce, recalling the halcyon days of summer 1999. i had just left school and had time to spare. me and my friends would drive around listening to elastica and screamadelica. unoriginal i know but i thought the world was mine for the taking. we drank tennents and vodka and coke, danced in living rooms at endless house parties and moshed at t in the park.

i remember the summer of '99 as being gloriously sunny even though i didn't leave scotland, i had a pair of blue tinted sunglasses and i looked cool. as i celebrated my 20th birthday a few weeks ago i realised i was no longer a teenager, i don't want to relive the past but i think the summer of '99 was my best for teenage behaviour. teenage drinking, teenage dancing and teenage lust...

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-15T15:04:00.000Z

apparently my celebrity match is cameron diaz. i think i'll hold out for kate moss.

2002-03-14T16:27:00.000Z

my day has improved

i have discovered dreamweaver, i think the suprise and satisfaction rivals my recent flirtation with lesbian bars. no longer will i struggle with basic html and missing tags, now dreamweaver does it for me. lucky for me i have unlimited online and dreamweaver time at uni so from now on my blog will be a picture of beauty and magnificence.

i have just eaten two bananas, can food control your mood? i see no reason to doubt.

i have decided to ignore my ever decreasing bank balance and lack of employment. having just bought a ticket for a st patricks day party on sat night and arranged further drinking activity for friday night i live in fear of no man, even if he works for the royal bank of scotland.

i hate soup appears to have realised the weaknesses in his arguments and ceased his boring rambling.

tonight i will listen to happy music, daft punk and the strokes.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-14T15:50:00.000Z

when will it end

so i have only been back for five days and i am ready to leave today. i'm not a high maintenance person, in fact i'm easily pleased. but faced with forty five minutes of badly driven bus just to get to uni every day, a ten minute wait at the bus stop without a car or person passing by, and a balance sheet of minus £200 even i get irate. big city listening was a happy affair, beach boys and cream. back in smallville i need the ramones to wake me and sister ray to lull me to sleep.

i'm already thinking of the earliest oportunities to flee. can i really afford a week away from coursework at easter. will the bank let me leave the country. there's always the summer, but faced with four months of nothing my mind is blank. to buy plane tickets i need a job but looking for a job may be the final straw.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-12T17:41:00.000Z

can't we all just get along

yesterday it was reported a student was eaten by a crocodile. some people want plastic surgery to look like animals. i can't help thinking that we are all getting confused in pursuit of happiness. who am i to deny mr man if he wants a face like a wolf or mrs crocodile if she wants to eat people. i'm just doing my bit to spread peace and love. people, stick with liposuction and facelifts. crocodiles, stop eating people.

or this could become a reality.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-12T17:14:00.000Z

so the inevitable happened and i'm back in smallville.

i think glitterqueer puts it best

a city stuck in the early nineties, where people are ill mannered and often disgusting

those unfamiliar with the delights of aberdeen, and particularly aberdeen public transport count yourselves lucky. i miss the tube. my journey to university requires two bus journeys, buses populated by unnaturally old sixty year olds and unsightly tracksuited bams. the tube contains allsorts, always with some interesting oddity to ponder. the buses in aberdeen are devoid of personality and their customers even more so.

that's not to say aberdeen doesn't have some good points. water you can actually hold down. an absence of pollution under your fingernails and up your nose. an abundance of unpretentious pubs and bars.
that's about it.

so it is with a heavy heart that i point my nose toward eight weeks of uneventful existence in the single place in britain – with the possible exception of dundee – where cunt is a term of affection and orange polyester never goes out of style.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-12T16:55:00.000Z

harder, faster, better, stronger

hello readers and welcome to the new improved confessions of a try hard loser. i have redesigned my weblog and added new and improved features. please take some time to visit the links in the sidebars, i'm sure you'll like them.

2002-03-07T13:27:00.000Z

quote of the day, first in an occasional series

'it’s really fab. our gay son simon is getting on really well with his new bum-chums. mind you, I went to eton and some of the antics the boys get up to doesn’t sound much different to when I was at school. except maybe they use more openly gay biscuits.'

2002-03-07T13:03:00.000Z

a number of things

since i have been living in the big city i have had a number of relevations which have made my life a whole lot easier. i am returning to smallville on saturday so thought i ought to share in case my new found knowledge desserts me when i leave the plane.

1.umbrellas they keep your head dry when it's raining

2.department stores they have lots of departments so you don't have to go to lots of shops. notable examples selfridges and john lewis

3.salad packs you don't have to buy lots of different types of lettuce, just buy a sald pack. notable examples tesco's greek salad with feta cheese and tesco's ceaser salad pack with ceaser dressing and croutons

the people at the desk next to me are whispering so i can't hear them. i didn't want to listen anyway

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-03-05T17:37:00.000Z

So anyway

i was a culture vulture all weekend. the andy warhol exhibition was the chosen destination on saturday. now there's a person who knew about soup. of which, some of you eager readers may have noticed the further ravings of soup hater number one at i hate soup, no doubt he is expecting a reposte but i feel i would be somewhat lacking as a human being if i were to dedicate an entire blog to a foodstuff.

andy warhol said 'in the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes', he painted silkscreens of tragic celebrities in lurid pinks and yellows, he didn't care when kennedy was shot, he wanted to dance abstract.

on sunday i visited the cinema and watched bully, the new release directed by larry clark. i won't go into much detail because i am hungry and have places to be. the film is about a group of friends who murder one of their number because he beats the men and rapes the women. at the end of the film they are sentenced to death and life imprisonment accompanied by fatboy slims song for shelter, a nice touch i thought.

last night accompanied by pussypuncherf i visited a lesbian bar for the second time in as many weeks. contrary to my last expedition this turned out to be a wholly enjoyable experience. we weren't glared at when we made our entrance, the lesbians were nice and smily and minus work shirts, boiler suits, man features etc. we sipped bottled lager and alcopos and felt very comfortable on the plush seats. a lesson for us all, not all lesbians are rugmunchers and not all lesbian bars are mechanics workshops

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-02-28T13:29:00.000Z

i like soup

everyone is aware that around the world there are numerous unjust and morally corrupt campaigns being waged against innocent parties. as someone who always trys hard i feel it is my duty to defend one such innocent party, namely soup.

the antisoup campaigners, typified by the ignorance and vile desperation of i hate soup, often cite the neither food nor drink factor inherent in every soupy serving. perhaps we should pity them rather than name and shame, they are too simpleheaded to realise that being both a food and drink is a unique and frankly wonderous property. not to mention the extensive soup categories and soup subcategories, simply anything can be made into precious life enhancing soup. a spicy corn chowder may be enjoyed as an eveningmeal accompanied by crispy bread and cheese, a cup of ham and pea with mint provides a tasty and nutritious midmorningdrink. soup's versatility means that anyone of us could eat and drink it morning noon and night for a month and never get bored.

unite with me against the evil soup bullys

goodbye soup lovers, and take care.

2002-02-27T18:37:00.000Z

biscuit munchers and batty boys

last night was useful, if uneventful. flanked by milflovingk and rugmuncherf i made my way to the vespa lounge, a popular lesbian hidehole in the centre of town.

call me naive but i always thought stereotypes were grossly exagerated fabrications of the truth, i know they must have some bearing in reality, but surely once a stereotype emerges it is out of date, no? not in the vespa lounge on a monday night. we were greeted by the alarming site of two lesbians playing pool, with shaven heads, and mechanics overalls.

eagle eyed readers have already spotted three stereotypes, even before the drinks have been ordered.

throughout the course of the evening we encountered girls in work shirts, girls with bleached spiky hair, ugly as your dog girls, is it a boy is it a girl girls to name but a few. a loser i may be, but i'm not venting my repressed homoseuxality or homophobia here. i'm wearing a pink shirt as i type and actually quite enjoyed masquerading as both a camperthanthough homo and a preoptransexual in order to avoid the lesbian police. and i was strangely attracted to the barmaid. i'm just saying that these lesbos, the mincing queer, the lager gulping nazi, the greasy haired student and the dimly lit hairdresser are walking, talking stereotypes. they define themselves by the way they look and act in public instead of how they live and love. and where's the fun in that?

try hard and be yourself is all i ask. if a loser like me can avoid a sterotype so can you.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-02-25T18:18:00.000Z

if celebrities payed my bills

yesterday i saw a lot of celebrities minor and major. ambling through town a mighty roar suprised me, turning the corner into a well known city centre square i was confronted by a full blown awards ceremony. it was the bafas and i had found my afternoon's entertainment.

approaching the crowd my initial reasoning was to watch soap actors a, b and c parade down the red carpet, go and buy a carton of soup and regale my flatmates with tales of the pleasures they had missed. i assumed position at the top of the red carpet. i don' know why watching celebrities gives so much pure enjoyment but after spotting hughlaurie, claudiawinkleman and nikkichapman my priorities changed. i was in for the long haul and determined not to fail, all around my fellow spotters were whispering names and racking there brains. thelittlefella from goodnessgraciousme and thatwomanwholooksabitlikezoewannamaker were mere distractions in pursuit of the one we all wanted, russell.

over the next hour or so we were entertained by such biscuit munchers as colin firth, gabyroslin, jamesnesbit and dustinhoffman, while the umbrellas became ever more frantic and my legs ever more weary. then the moment arrived and as he stepped out of his emaculate white benz, flicked a lock of greasy brown hair from his eyes and held a triumphant hand aloft a hundred lonely hearts were lifted as one. pausing for a moment for the photographers before stepping onto the hallowed crimson carpet he was greeted with screams and cheers from the thronged masses.

i left with a warm glow, elevated by the knowledge that when it mattered most i had tiptoed the highest and strained the furthest, braved the glare of the spotlight and the spatter of the rain, no longer a tryhardloser.

i will aim for the stars, reach the stars and marry the stars.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-02-23T15:02:00.000Z

so it's saturday and it's snowing.

being a tryhard loser i am never suprised that, depsite my best friday night efforts, i consistenly avoid a saturday morning hangover. today is no different, after a promising evening of vodkairnbru and red stripe i was seduced by that most irresistable of temptresses, the beko fridge. my eyes were fixed on the oh so healthy washed and ready to eat ceaser salad and from there on i was helpless in pursuit of vitamins and healthy goodness. not to mention the customary pit stop, last night at the 24hour shop, which my companions and i entered with the express intention of buying the most filthiest, most depraved, most downright sick and wrong pornography on offer. ten minutes later i emerged £2.89 to the bad with a carton of tropicana 100% orange juice with juicy bits not concentrate.

all of my short life i drank milk to give me healthy bones and teeth. my mission acomplished i learn that milk is bad and dairy is also so i now avoid all foodstuffs with even the meerest whiff of an udder.

every morning a take two vitamins, multi vitamins for all round healthyness and zinc for a tip top immune system.

i drink at least two litres of pure grade a mineral water a day.

i enjoy eight hours sleep a night.

i snack on cherry tomatoes

i line my stomach with milk before a night of drinking

i drink a vitamincocktail not coffee in the morning

i try hard i really do but my heros are those who know that one can of oily fish a week contains enough omega3 oils to protect from heart disease and other bad things, not daniellawestbrook and fatchloefromhollyoaks. no matter how hard i think about excess and depravity i can never bring myself to eat a kebab, have mindless sex with slutty girls, snort psychedelic drugs, even listen to guitar solos.

i promise to try harder in future dear reader, i really do.
don't expect too much.

goodbye readers, and take care.

2002-02-22T13:31:00.000Z

this is the first entry in my weblog so i will keep it short.
dont expect too much.

i just ate the best sandwich of my life, technically a roll but in terms of bread around a filling it surpassed even the mighty egg, ham and lettuce on sub roll from marks and spencer. if today holds a better feeling than strolling around a corner swinging a chicken, avocado, crispy bacon and tomato bap then i'm in for a good night. honestly i had a twinkle in my eye.

of which last night i visited a suitably classy licensed establishment in pursuit of a cosy beer jacket to ward off the evil cold spirits which have taken root in the hot water and central heating of my flat. my companions f and k each downed three pints to my more manly four, i won't bore you with the details but suffice to say there were plenty homosexuals. a quick pit stop at tescos on the way home for doritos with a hint of lime, and greek style feta salad before returning home where my beer jacket did indeed serve me well.

goodbye readers, and take care.